I sit here pondering the choices mankind has made over the last few months. I would use the the term “human” but that insinuates feelings, thought, and general overall concern for fellow beings.The definition of human is as follows: a representative that is susceptible to the sympathies and frailties of nature. I fail to see how this applies to a majority of us? I am so very frustrated by the choices many have made for the general wellbeing of us all over the last 7 months. In the beginning of this pandemic, there was fear and doubt. People actually questioned educated scientists and doctors with the worlds population health. I was disappointed by the videos and theories posted on social media. I am dumbfounded by the ridiculousness.
I would sit back and read posts about right wing theories that this virus was a made up hoax. A plot created by the government in order to control us, like a herd of cows. I would take in all the “fake” new theories about military engineered viruses created to thin out the worlds population. I would remind my children that all the choices we make can effect the overall well being of those we come in contact with. I reminded my children that one person can make a difference. To stand proud, and tall.
I am reminded everyday that this virus could affect my family greatly. Annika and I both live with cystic fibrosis. This disease does compromise our immune systems. We are prone to repeat infections that could make us weak. We are reminded everyday that Covid-19 could very well kill us. We don’t walk around with blinders on or with a false sense of security like many of you do. I would dare to say some of you even think you are untouchable.
I am writing this to remind you that you are not! For the last 4 days I have sat by my daughters bedside in our local hospital. I have been her caretaker, her cheerleader, her counsel or and her nurse. She is in the hospital because for a few months she has been experiencing abdominal pain intermittently.Just recently the pain has increased and has been accompanied by fevers, vomiting , and generally unwell. We came into the hospital a few days ago where we were kept overnight for observation. Annika was sent home the following day because blood and ultrasound came back negative for any known cause.
The hospital is a dangerous place for us to be in. Generally a hospital is were sick people go to heal. A hospital is full of germs and disease. A person with cf tries to avoid admissions for fear of contracting something will there. We often do intervenors antibiotics at home to help prevent cross contamination. So the act of going home was a normal event for us. We were going home even though we really didn’t have any answers.
I took Annika home hoping this was just a stomach bug, even though my “ momma senses” told me different. We were not even home for a full 24hrs before we were back in the ER with intensified pain and nausea. I asked the doctor if there was any chance that Annika has a micro gallbladder because she was a meconium ileus baby. To clarify things. : Annika was born with a complete bowel blockage at birth. Babies that are born full term with a meconium ileus are 80% likely to have cystic fibrosis. A high percentage of meconium ileus babies with cystic fibrosis are born with micro gallbladders . A micro gallbladder is very small and is more prone to infection and calcification. The reason I asked the doctor about this was because on the previous admission an ultrasound was preformed. The doctor stated that they couldn’t detect her gallbladder, that it looked like it was permanently contracted and wasn’t visible. This confused him. His actual words were “ I have never seen this!” So once we were discharged I started doing research. I have sadly come to the realization that not many doctors actually take the time to research the unknown. You would think that doctor would have done a simple google search on : missing gallbladder”, “ Gallbladder not visible during ultrasound” or better yet “ missing gallbladder and cystic fibrosis”. Immediately a research paper popped up on the information about micro gallbladder and cystic fibrosis. In the article it stated that their is a link to hereditary and micro gallbladders ( I was diagnosed years ago, and later had to have mine removed) and their is also a huge relation to cf babies with meconium ileus babies having these micro gallbladders that spasm ,contract, and calcify. Once a micro gallbladder does this it will not been seen by an ultrasound. A HIDA test or endoscopic ultrasound is the only way to positively identify the issue.
Thankfully I had a doctor this time that took notes and asked questions. Annika’s pain could no longer be controlled with morphine, it actually worsened the pain. She had to be switched to dilaudid, tordal and acetaminophen combination. The HIDA scan was preformed and lo and behold my daughter had a micro gallbladder with her binary ducted blocked with stones. We are presently waiting for surgery. She is being constantly supervised and monitored while we are waiting for a spot to open up.
This is were my frustration lies with my original “mankind” comment. I am witnessing the effect our selfishness has had on the medical care system. People often reply....I’m not going to get sick. I am young, healthy and basically you might as well throw in the word invincible. Here is a wake up call. IO know three people whom have died of this disease. They were under 40. They thought they were fit too. I also know four people with cystic fibrosis who have contracted this virus. Two are dead, one is on a respirator and the other has been listed on a double lung transplant because their lungs were destroyed by this virus. I also know many online friends who have been affected by this virus one way or another. They have family and friends who have had the virus, have the virus or have died because of the virus. I am witnessing a medical system that is over run by the demands this virus has put on it, I am witnessing medical staff run down and run thin. I have witnessed tests and surgeries delayed because additional measures use be implemented because of this virus. This virus that once again is growing in numbers because of the selfishness of people. STAY THE FUCK HOME! I understand you have to work....I respect that, but honestly can’t “Uncle Johns “ birthday wait. Can’t that social dinner with your bff be put off? Can’t that trip to the beach be better thought of and planned. Look I get it. This isolation thing is crap. Humans are meant to be social beings.....but how about making responsible choices like our family is forced to? If you want to meet with friends....make responsible plans. Have a COVID test, wait in quarantine until you get a negative and then gather. If you need to go out to the beach, walk or campfire....WEAR A MASK! Stay 6 ft apart. Do your part. You may not be effected by this virus, but your virus carrying , asymptomatic ass might be carrying this virus around to share with others. It still amazes me when I hear people say” I cant wear a mask, it gives me a panic attack!” , “I can breathe in a mask!”, “ It flares up my medical(undocumented)condition!” Ok, let’s address these EXCUSES FOR SELFISHNESS! If a mask gives you a panic attack, wear a clear face shield. There is no documented medical condition that is actually irritated by a mask. Asthmatics, cystic fibrosis, COPD, and heart conditions are not effected by mask wearing. If you have one of these underlying ,medical conditions....guess what ? You are in the top percentage of people Who are highly susceptible to the dangerous of this virus. I want you to seriously think about your safety! For those using this as an excuse to not wear a mask ( You all know one of these people) GROW THE FUCK UP! Time to start thinking of other people besides yourself. Our hospitals are over flowing. Our medical staff are being run thin. Our medical procedures are being effected. And most importantly to me.....your selfishness is effecting the overall care of my daughter.
The United States has a “leader” who minimalized this virus and its effects. He made choices that changed many citizens access to proper healthcare, than turned around and tweeted about how we shouldn’t focus on how this virus will effect us. A leader who never wore masks or effectively practice safe distancing. A leader who “became infected” with this disease and received the best healthcare known to man, Something that more than 70% of his citizens wouldn’t be able to afford to have access too. And then he proceeds to belittle and mock the reality that this virus has had on many peoples lives. Many people have lost loved ones or become sick themselves. Many people have lost their jobs and homes or businesses because of this virus. Many people have grown defiant. Many people have lost their humanity.
Our Canadian leaders are not much better. Their wavering on rules and practices are sickening and contradicting. Exposing children and teachers to a second wave of this disease just in time for flu and cold season. Our ERs are already starting to feel the outcome of our decisions.
I say ENOUGH! We all miss our friends and family. Remember you have you 10 people, but those people have their 10 people, and so on, and so on. Stop exposing yourself to the dangers that don’t need to be exposed. Make responsible, informed decisions. If you have to be in a group, get tested. If you need to get out of the same four walls...wear a mask and wash your hands. Make wise choices, because your unwise choices are starting to affect my family. We have no choice with cystic fibrosis. We didn’t ask for this disease. We do our part and try to be as safe as possible. I am begging you, please think of others and start doing your part.
I have never stepped away from someone for their political views, choice of religion or lifestyle....but I am actively making a choice to avoid those who cant respect the lives of others.